Self-love means that you have an appreciation, affinity, and positive regard for yourself. It’s closely related to self-esteem and self-compassion. When you have a strong sense of self-love, you understand your own value and treat yourself in a loving way.
Self-love is critical to our overall well-being. And despite what the perfectionists think, loving yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t hold yourself to a high standard. Without feeling positively towards ourselves, we may find it hard to be motivated. Many studies suggest that we need self-love in order to take action, take chances, and take on new opportunities.
Self-love helps us take care of ourselves, lower stress, and strive for success. But it also protects us from negative thoughts, self-sabotage, and pushing ourselves too far. It’s important to recognize that knowing what to say “no” to is just as important as learning when to say “yes.”
Unlike narcissism, which is excessive self-absorption and self-interest, self-love is a positive trait. Loving yourself means having a good understanding of both your strengths and weaknesses. Narcissism is generally associated with poor mental health. But high self-love has a positive effect on your well-being, mental fitness, and your relationships.
Comparison is one of the biggest enemies of self-love. When we compare ourselves to others, it's easy to become discouraged and start believing that our best isn't good enough. Instead, focus on your own journey and celebrate your successes without worrying about how they stack up against someone else's achievements.
Remember that everyone has their own unique story and life experiences, so try not to place too much emphasis on what other people are doing.
Boundaries help us stay in control of our emotions and behavior while showing respect for ourselves and others. This is especially important when dealing with people who don't have our best interests at heart.
If a particular situation or person makes you feel uncomfortable, be assertive about letting them know what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. Setting healthy boundaries will also help protect your energy, allowing you to save it for things that make you truly happy.
Remember that mistakes are part of life. Everyone makes them and we all need to forgive ourselves in order to move on and grow. Instead of berating yourself for past failures, focus on what you can learn from the experience and how it can help you be better in the future. Let go of any guilt or shame you may feel and make room for self-compassion, understanding, and love.
Self-love isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time to build, and it's important to be patient with yourself as you go through the process. Give yourself grace when things don't go according to plan and remember that you are worthy of love even if it doesn't come easily at first.
Above all else, believe in yourself and your ability to create meaningful change in your life. Practice positive affirmations that remind you of your worth and potential.
It’s not uncommon to feel drained when you’re constantly working to meet the needs of others — especially when you’re a caregiver. And when those others (kids, for example) live in your house, it can be difficult to find time for self-love.
That’s why taking breaks from those who rely on you most can be so beneficial when you’re learning self-love.
Maybe that means a night at a local hotel (just you) to watch a movie, sleep in, and eat uninterrupted. Or it could be lunch by yourself with a good book and no one requesting anything of you.
Shelters are full of pets in need of loving homes, and the unconditional love we get from our furry family members can be a true mood booster.
If you can’t adopt right now, volunteering could also be a good option. Even spending time at a pet store, an adoption agency, or with a friend’s fur baby can be comforting.
Giving yourself these peaceful and joyful moments is an effective way to love yourself.
Especially for parents who often have little ones stealing from their plates, taking time to eat alone — whether it’s a coveted dessert or a full-course menu — means you don’t have to share with anyone.
Mindful eating is one way to make mealtime feel that much more rejuvenating. Here are some quick steps to practice mindfulness while you eat:
- Minimize and set aside distractions, like the TV or your phone.
- Take some time to breathe in the scent of your meal. What herbs or spices do you smell?
- Enjoy your food one bite at a time, and enjoy the flavors you might often be too busy to notice.
When it comes to self-care and self-love, there’s no right or wrong way to do it. It’s always OK to change things up if you decide one self-care approach isn’t serving you.
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