How To Stop Overthinking—And Start Living

While everyone overthinks situations once in a while, some people are plagued with a constant barrage of thoughts all the time. Chronic overthinkers rehash conversations they had yesterday, second-guess every decision they make, and imagine disastrous outcomes all day, every day.

Thinking too much about something often involves more than words—overthinkers conjure up disastrous images, too. Their minds resemble a movie where they imagine their car going off the road or replay distressing events over and over again.

Thinking too much prevents you from getting anything done. And, it wreaks havoc on your mood.

Overthinking often involves two destructive thought patterns—ruminating and incessant worrying.

Ruminating involves dwelling on the past. Thoughts may include things like:

• I shouldn’t have said those things at the meeting yesterday. Everyone must think I’m an idiot.
• I should have stayed at my last job. I would be happier than I am now.
• My parents didn’t teach me how to be confident. My insecurities have always held me back.

Persistent worrying involves negative—often catastrophic—predictions about the future. Thoughts may include things like:

• I’m going to embarrass myself tomorrow when I give that presentation. I know I’m going to forget everything I’m supposed to say.
• Everyone else will get promoted before me.
• I know we won’t ever have enough money to retire. We’ll be too sick to work and we’ll run out of money.

Like all habits, changing your destructive thought patterns can be a challenge. But, with consistent practice, you can train your brain to think differently. 

Constantly ruminating and going over scenarios and possibilities often disguises itself as problem solving. It feels like you're doing something good and useful. But you're not, you're just spinning in a circle. Recognize when you're overthinking something, don't act like it's problem solving, and press fast-forward.

This is a formula, a ratio, for how you should calculate how you value yourself, based on 90 percent self-worth, 10 percent assigned worth. Ninety percent should come from your self-acceptance and self-appreciation, and just 10 percent from that occasional sliver of external validation we all need.

Overthinkers distort the formula, even reversing it by acting like 90 percent of their worth comes from what others think or say. So they worry, which takes the form of--you guessed it--overthinking.

Overthinkers read too much into things. Why? They're assuming something bad lies underneath, something like a bad perception, someone wishing them ill, or an unfavorable outcome. When you catch yourself doing this, switch your assumption to what you're reading into was well-intended, or at least neutral. The vast majority of the time, it really is, so why not act like it?

We often feel the need to overthink because we simply fear being wrong. It might make sense to overthink things if you're planning to jump your motorbike over the Grand Canyon or to go swimming with a great white shark. As for overthinking the decision you made in that meeting yesterday? Not so much.

Ask yourself in such moments what the realistic cost of being wrong is. When you can lower the stakes, you raise your ability to get mentally unstuck.

So don't overthink it. Take the inspiration here and run with it. Without looking back.