Reappraisal involves cognitively reframing an event to reduce the negative emotions you feel. For example, let’s say that I dropped my sandwich on the ground and I have nothing else to eat for lunch. I might tell myself that I am better off than people in the world who don’t have any food. Or I might tell myself that it’s not so bad because I can get a snack later in the day. Or maybe I tell myself that it’s good I dropped my sandwich because it will help me stay on my diet.
The goal is to talk to yourself in ways that make you feel better about yourself or the situation.
When we change the way we are thinking about our experiences we don’t let life’s slings and arrows get to us as much. We are able to see challenges as opportunities and begin to view our lives in terms of strengths instead of weaknesses. An ability to successfully reappraise enables us to reduce negative emotions and open us up to experiencing happiness, even during difficult times.
Imagine you take a wrong turn on the way to a party and end up getting lost, making you considerably late. Your first response may be to get frustrated, appraising things by thinking, “This road construction is terrible! The city needs to get it together to find a different way of detouring traffic.” Your appraisal may make you exasperated. If you're prone to anger, your anger may run away with you, causing you to be fuming and ruining your time at the party once you arrive.
Instead of playing out this unpleasant, seemingly automatic cycle, take a moment to consider another perspective (reappraisal) you might have in this situation. The mere act of considering other interpretations can help you loosen your grip on your more angry perspective. Other ways of looking at this situation might even cause you to experience other feelings. Consider the following reappraisals:
· I always get lost. Why can’t I seem to do anything right?
· Oh no! If I’m late to the party, everyone will be mad at me, and no one will talk to me.
· I have the birthday cake in the trunk. Now, everyone at the party will have to wait for me before they can get started, and that’s miserable.
These different ways of thinking about the situation will elicit different emotional responses, although they’re not really an improvement on the first response. What’s interesting about them is that all of them contain at least a kernel of truth. None of them is out-and-out irrational. Some of them may be a bit extreme but not irrational. This is significant because it illustrates there usually isn’t just one way of making sense of a situation. All have validity. This means it’s possible to take an alternative perspective that is more effective in helping us feel more balanced.
Now consider the following reappraisals:
· Thank goodness, I will spare myself 30 minutes of talking to Elizabeth. I dodged a bullet there!
· I’m late again. I might as well enjoy the scenery while I’m driving around.
· People probably won’t care that much that I’m late.
· I’m usually on time. What a fluke!
· Life happens.
These beliefs also contain a kernel of truth. They're not merely the “power of positive thinking” but are reality-based ways of re-appraising the situation. Moreover, they'd probably be more effective in helping us keep our heads while we try to find our way to the party. While running over these new thoughts, you might still hear the old appraisal in your head: “This road construction is terrible! The city needs to get it together to find a different way of detouring traffic.” But now you can add some nuance to it, adding different viewpoints and thinking in a way that keeps a lid on your level of distress. The point is to allow other ways of making sense of a situation to coexist with the more emotionally triggering appraisal.
Feelings are sometimes considered abstract, unknowable concepts. This can lead to us accepting our feelings as unchangeable. Sometimes loneliness creeps in and we let it sit there. Sometimes frustration washes over us and we relish the anger.
There is a technique used in cognitive behavioural therapy, however, that encourages our ability to affect our feelings by adjusting the thoughts that precede them. This can help us process and even limit or reshape unwanted or overwhelming feelings.
Cognitive Reappraisal is designed to be a tool for helping yourself be your own teacher for overcoming negative thought spirals. However, it's often helpful to seek out an expert cognitive behavioral therapist to get help when thinking patterns result in significant quality of life problems. If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety and depression, or suffering from some other emotional problem, it's best to seek out a trained mental health professional to help you better learn these skills to recover more quickly and fully.
0 comments:
Post a Comment