How to Cope With Emotional Stress

We all experience stress, leading to various physical and psychological reactions. It can also affect our emotions. Emotional stress is a strong, negative response that leads to challenging emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, worry, or frustration.

Emotional stress can be challenging because our ways of dealing with this stress can sometimes backfire. Thinking about a solution or discussing solutions with a good friend—coping behaviors that are often useful and effective in solving problems—can quickly deteriorate into rumination and co-rumination, which are not so helpful.

Rumination can exacerbate your stress levels, so it helps to have healthy strategies for coping with emotional stress and redirecting yourself away from rumination and avoidance coping and more toward emotionally proactive approaches to stress management.​

The end of the academic year is rife with a variety of stressors. Students are often studying furiously for finals, wrapping up coursework, setting up internships, trying to figure out their living situations for the next year, or even confronting life after college. Beyond the stress that is specific to college, students are also coping with national and global events while trying to maintain healthy relationships. During times of stress, with so many plates spinning, it is easy to get burned out or feel overwhelmed by emotions.

Although it is tempting to reach for quick fixes such as drugs and alcohol or to slide down a YouTube rabbit hole to block out feelings for a while, these attempts at coping, especially when we are crunched for time, often end up making us feel worse and add to our list of challenges. Whether it be a hangover, behavior we regret, or several hours lost to TikTok that could have been spent finishing that final paper, there is often a hidden cost to “quick fix” coping that leaves us feeling even more stressed.

If we are intentional, we can infuse small moments of enjoyment or pleasure into even the most demanding day. Have a homework assignment to finish? Why not grab a friend or find a nice spot outdoors. Have a load of laundry to do? Pop on an audiobook or album while you work. It is true that all work and no play makes for a very dull life indeed, and adding in small positive moments throughout your day can really add up. These experiences don’t have to be grandiose, it could be as simple as putting on a pair of cozy socks while you study or having a cup of your favorite tea. The key is to add in enjoyment and to experience it mindfully. Think about the sum of your experiences as an emotional battery. If you aren’t accumulating enough positive experiences, your emotional battery will get low or you could experience burn out. Seeking out positive experiences with purposeful awareness, although seemingly simple, will increase your resilience during challenging times by ensuring that you have enough charge in your emotional battery.

Are you dreading an upcoming difficult situation? Maybe you have a final that you’re worried about, or a job interview that has you waking up in the middle of the night. Rather than avoiding thoughts or feelings about these events, try preparing for them instead with imagined rehearsal. Imagine what it will feel like in the situation. How could you soothe yourself? What might you need to remember in that moment to do your best? Coping ahead is like having a practice round in our minds. It can help us feel better prepared and less anxious when the real-life situation occurs.

When we are new at something or learning novel skills, it can be easy to focus on our deficits. For this reason, it can be helpful to engage in activities that help us feel a sense of competence or mastery. For example, if you played basketball in high school, scheduling a pick-up game with your friends could help you tap into that skill set. If you’re crafty, taking breaks to knit or draw could help you feel a tangible sense of accomplishment. Experiences that are characterized by self-efficacy and self-control can help you feel more confident and competent in the face of other challenges.

It may seem like there’s nothing you can do about stress. The bills won’t stop coming, there will never be more hours in the day, and your work and family responsibilities will always be demanding. But you have a lot more control than you might think.

If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your overall physical and mental health. It narrows your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life.

Effective stress management helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be happier, healthier, and more productive. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun—and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on. But stress management is not one-size-fits-all. That’s why it’s important to experiment and find out what works best for you.